Happy Day

I have had a lovely day!  I say that so rarely I felt it deserved a post all of it's own.  I spent the day with my other half, and it was really nice.  We didn't argue, we talked, we had coffee and browsed shops, it felt like the old days when we were younger and more in love.  Despite my happy mood, I do feel rather philosophical  so prepare for a babble.

Being 'in' love is an interesting concept, all too often it seems we confuse that early passion, the unfamiliarity of a new'ish' relationship with being 'in' love.  It is easy to feel all gooey eyed and in adoration of your other half when there annoying habits are just cute character traits, when you don't have a mortgage, when you still go out every time you see each other, assuming you don't spend  the entire day together in bed!

It is still pretty simple to be 'in' love when you make those first commitment steps; like moving in together with all the cute coupley shopping trips for furnishings and kitchen utensils. You are still sharing smug glances when you invite your equally coupled up friends around to your new pad.  And the proceed to test drive every room in the house once they have gone.

You still feel 'in' love when you get to the comfortable stage.  All those cosy nights in with a movie and a bottle of wine; summer days in the garden and package holidays to cheap and cheery sunny spots abroad.  You still smile and laugh when you share a private joke or remember something from your early days.

But 6/7 years on; the cute characteristic's become irritating habits, the cosy nights are boring, the holiday's stop happening as money gets tighter.  Houses need repairs, washing machines break down and bills have to be paid.  You start wanting different things, you miss the care free days of your youth  and you start wishing you had more time for yourself. 

Then the passion that had gradually ebbed over the years becomes but a mere flutter you feel after one too many drinks.  The bedroom activity is less Olympian and more sack race, once you have mastered the movement you just go until it's done, there is no room for manouevre in the sack. 

If I paint a picture of a bad relationship, I don't mean to.  It isn't that you no longer love each other but you wonder if you are actually 'in' love.

The worst time for this to happen is when you are considering a major change in your circumstances:  A wedding for example, or maybe having a child, it could even be moving house. Whatever it is,  anything that makes you question your future, only serves to heighten what is seemingly missing from your relationship.

I wonder if every couple reaches this stage, and if they do, is it possible to recover?
Are long term relationships, the until the day I die type, full of people who have given up on being 'in' love?  Or can you come out of the other end, find that spark that was ignited when you met, and with a shielding hand can you carry it with you, lighting fires as you go to keep the relationship hot, or at least pretty warm?