Slimming World Challenge Week 4 Results

Another small loss, another 1lb down.  I am now back to where I was before the horrible 7lb in 2 weeks that kick started this challenge.  I can't believe it has taken twice as long to lose it as to gain it, I best keep that in mind when I think about falling from the wagon. 

Now that I am starting to get more mobile with my ankle (I drove mum and me to slimming today - yippee for me), I am going to have to start upping up my exercise, I am not talking anything overly active but I think I could manage to do something everyday maybe go for a walk or swimming. 

I really want a 2lb loss next week, I dread writing that as when I set a target I usually go off track, but I want my stone and a half award. 

Check out my food diary here: Slimming World Challenge.

Hydrotherapy Session 2

The second session in the pool took place on Monday.  The exercises different, the result was that my ankle started to hurt during and definitely ached afterwards, I had some pain in my calves on the evening but my thighs this time were fine. 

In addition to walking in the various ways mentioned in my previous entry, we also did some smaller more focussed exercises:

Warm up

Walk up and down the pool, or swim.
At side of pool rise onto your toes and down again.
At the side of the pool, feet together and squat down.

Exercise 1

Stand in the pool with the float under both feet
step forward with your bad foot to the pool floor just in front of the float, return to both feet on the float
Put your bad foot to the side of the float, return to centre
Put your foot behind the float. return to centre
Repeat with bad leg on float and good leg moving forward, to the centre, to the side, to the centre, and then to the back.
Repeat on both feet 10 times.

Exercise 2

With the float on the floor beneath your feet shuffle to the front edge of the float so that your toes are on the pool floor and heels on the float,move around the edges of the float in this position.
Repeat 5 times (change direction on each turn to prevent you going dizzy).

Exercise 3

With the float beneath your feet shuffle to the back of the float so that your heels are on the pool floor and toes on the float, move around the edges of the float in this position
Repeat 5 times (change direction on each turn to prevent you going dizzy).

Exercise 4

Walk up and down the pool as if walking on a tightrope, putting the heel of one foot directly in front of the toes on the other.

Exercise 5

Stand in the pool, make a small step to the side with your bad foot, return to the centre, make a slightly bigger side step, to the centre, repeat until you are stepping as wide as you can.  Repeat 10 times from the start.

Cool Down

Walk down the pool, with each step lift your foot and move it in a small circle.
Continue the small turns stood at the end of the pool.

Disclaimer
I am not a trained physiotherapist, if you choose to do these exercises you do so at your own risk, I am not responsible for any harm you do to yourself, there is no substitute for professional help, and if at all possible you should contact a trained physiotherapist to help you with your rehabilitation.

The Diet Struggle Continues !

I am having a bad diet week, I am still within the weekly syns but am struggling to maintain focus.  I can't work out why I get like this.  Is it boredom or a sense of why try so hard for such a small loss? I seem to get to week 4 and lose motivation. Keeping the diary is the only thing that is keeping me on plan at all, I nearly stopped at the weekend when I was eating everything in sight, but I wrote it all down on a scrap of paper and sat down while the kids were watching Karate Kid and worked out the syns.

I very nearly ate a McDonald's on Sunday, I checked the syns before we set off and decided that there was no way I was wasting that many on junk food; so while he and the not so little dears stuffed their faces, I had a coffee and a free bag of fruit (from an instant win on the monopoly game) instead.  OK I admit it... I stole a single chip, a small bite of a cheeseburger (well we won that too - so it was free), and a sip of banana milkshake - but they are all counted and in the diary, I figure I showed real restraint not giving in and eating the second free cheeseburger.

I made the smash pizza on Saturday, but I forgot to take a photo - I will take one next time I make one.  It was very filling, I think I made the base a bit too dry and I didn't roll it thin enough but other than that it was pretty good.  I didn't feel too deprived when they were eating the proper stuff.  I followed the Smash pizza recipe on Jess Collings' wonderful blog;  although I had mozzarella, olives, pepperoni and roast chicken on mine.

I also made some chickpea snacks thanks to a helpful hint from someone in my SW group.  I drained a can of chickpeas, laid them out on a baking tray, sprayed with fry light and sprinkled with season all and cooked for 15 minutes.  I ate them still warm, was a bit like those hot peanuts you get in bars - quite yummy.



 

Slimming World Challenge Week 3 Results

Tonight I lost 1lb, not exactly jumping for joy but that is three losses in a row.  I didn't feel like I had lost much so it wasn't a surprise but I would like to see at least 2lb next week.  The kids are staying this weekend which is always difficult, they are really fussy eaters and it isn't worth the arguments making them eat slimming world too.  I am going to try Slimming World pizza on Saturday night then they can have regular pizza without tempting me.

I will share my results later.

I find the variation in weight loss frustrating, 1lb, 4lb then 1lb again.  Why when we stick to the plan does the amount we lose vary so much?

My other half thinks that I am always a week behind on my weight loss, so the 4lb loss was a result of the first week on the challenge, and this weeks was the result of the 80 odd syns I had on week 2.  This week was just over 70 syns so hopefully that should be somewhere between the two.

There is always the issue of hormones, If we throw them into the mix,  last week was also star week and I always lose more then.  Then there is how much you eat and drink on weigh day, I never eat exactly the same so if I haven't digested the food then it might weight heavier some weeks than others.  There is also fluid retention as a result of exercise, hormones or medication.  Then there is the clothes, I don't always wear the same thing so that can add or lose a lb. When you think about it, there is no surprise that sometimes you have an unexpected gain or lose more than you thought you would.

I was feeling a bit down about the size of the loss before I started this post, but when you put it all in perspective like that, it doesn't seem too bad.

Click here for my full food diary for the Slimming World Food Diary Lent Challenge.

Slimming World Internet Recipe Trials

Mum and I decided to experiment with some Slimming World recipes we had seen online for tea tonight.  We had both independently come across recipes for Diet Coke Chicken, and were intrigued to try it.

The basic recipe was

4 skinless chicken breasts
2 onions
1 can diet coke
1 tsp worcestershire suace
3 tbsp pasatta

Basically you fry off the chicken and onion until the chicken is starting to colour then add the other three ingredients and cook off until the sauce has thickened.  We tested the sauce and decided it was a bit bland for our tastes so added the following

1 tsp chilli powder (ideally this would have been fried off with the meat at the start)
1 tsp chicken bovril
another tbsp pasatta

We cooked off the extra ingredients and served it with boiled rice.

The added heat from the chilli and the salt from the stock definitely gave it a more rounded flavour.

I think I was impatient to get eating as it is still a bit steamy - oopps!

The second experiment came courtesy of a fellow blogger at Slimming World Recipes, she has some interesting recipes and this one caught my eye, well who wouldn't say no to syn free crisps.

I was very impressed by how like crisps they were, so moreish and dead easy to do.  I have a horrible feeling the slimming world mafia may not approve, they can be awful funny about things like this.  But assuming I don't gain weight this week, I will definitely try these again.

Hydrotherapy - OMG I ache all over!

Today was my first session in the hydrotherapy pool, me and 3 blokes all with poorly ankles were put through our paces by 'Alexander the Great' sorry that should be Alex the physiotherapist (his bloody minded determination for us to push ourselves is very reminiscent of the famous military leader).

I figure we walked about a mile up and down that pool today, forwards, backwards, side steps, knees up, jogging, with float under bad foot, with float under good foot in all three directions.  It was actually really good fun, I forgot how much I enjoy exercises classes, it has been so long since I have been to one.  However my thighs think they have been set on fire and I am having to force myself not to limp as the evening draws in and I realise how out of shape I am.

I was warned by one of my fellow privates in the army of Alex, that it will hurt and I will probably wonder what on earth was wrong with me.  This bloke was blatantly in a lot better shape than me to start with so I imagine my pain will only be getting worse, if he felt it there is no hope for me.

I would like to say just how great the new Pinderfields' hospital is in Wakefield, it seems to be getting a bit of stick in the papers but my experience has been really positive.  The hydro pool is fantastic, although showers in the changing rooms instead of the pool side would have been a good idea.   The place is bright and airy seems to be kept really clean and is generally very welcoming.

On a side note I once read that old people don't become more angry when they get older the angry ones were always like that.  If that is true then the old lady behind me at the rehab reception today must have had a lot of tantrums as a child.  We were only waiting a minute before she had a total rant about how it was just not good enough that there was no-one on reception, I admit it is a bit odd that there are three people at the desk but only the relevant one will help you, surely they could cover for each other.  Anyway the poor receptionist, who wasn't covering physio, didn't know what to do with herself as the woman started what was likely to be a full blown assault if the actual receptionist hadn't turned up to cut her short.  Blimey some people are just scary!!!

I thought I would take this opportunity to introduce you to my best pal Doris, she is a real support to me, keeps me up when I feel like falling down, holds my hand through the bad times and takes whatever I throw at her.

Don't she look pretty in her new bow! 

Slimming World Black Forest Roulade





8.5 syns for the whole roulade





Yummy and less than 1.5 syns per portion

Serves 6

3 large eggs
8 tbsp artificial sweetener
2-3 drops vanilla essence
2 level tbsp plain flour
1 level tbsp cocoa
1 tbsp hot water
8oz fresh cherries (stoned fresh or desfrosted frozen)
255g quark








1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees C/Gas 6. Put the eggs, sweetener and vanilla essence in a bowl and whisk until light and thick. Fold in flour and cocoa powder and add the hot water. Spoon into a 29.5 x 23cm/13 x 8 inch swiss roll tin lined with greaseproof paper.
Bake for 8-10 mins.

2.Turn out onto a piece of grease proof paper, peel away the backing paper and trim the edges. Roll up and leave to cool.

3.Reserve a few cherries for decoration. Unroll the sponge and spread with the quark (add sweetner and vanilla essence to taste, set some aside for the topping) leave a 4cm/1.5 inch border. Reroll and decorate with reserved quark mixture and cherries.

4. Cut into 6 slices and serve.

8.5 syns for the whole roulade, less than 1.5 syns per slice.

Do we ever really grow up?

I had a tantrum yesterday, 30 years old and I threw a magazine at me dad and stormed out of the room.  Well I attempted to storm out of the room, went much quicker than my foot would let me and ended up on the hall floor crying like a petulant child.  It comes to something when you can't have a successful strop any more!

The tantrum was triggered by my dad calling my mum 'stupid woman', this is my dad's favourite insult and he has used it on all of us since we were kids, it isn't like it is a particularly inventive or cruel phrase but something about the way he says it winds me off the clock.  My mum wasn't even bothered and would have ignored him and carried on as if he hadn't said it.  But me, being the emotionally unstable human that I am, I had to go and over react.

It was an entirely childish reaction, and unfortunately one I just can't seem to grow out of, if someone upsets me, says something mean or hurts my feelings, I just snap.  One minute I can be having a perfectly civilised conversation,  the next I am slamming a door as I leave the room in tears.  I admit I do this a lot less than when I was a child but far too often for a grown woman.

I think I am more prone to this kind of reaction when I am with my parents, and lets face it I have spent the last 3 months living with them; it seems that something about that relationship you have with them never changes, no matter how old you are when you are, with them you still feel like a child.

The whole incident is now just something to recall and laugh at and no harm has been done, except maybe to the readers digest which took a beating against my dad's shoe when I threw it, we will carry on as normal until the day I inevitably do it again, next time though I will hopefully make it further than the hall floor.

Slimming World Challenge Week 2

Hip hip hooray, I lost 4lb's, and even better I am Slimmer of the Week.  I am really pleased, but considering that last time I had a good loss it was followed by two huge gains I am a little apprehensive about overdoing the celebration.

So far however, the challenge seems to be  going well, a total loss of 5lb in two weeks.  I have 6 weeks go to the end of the challenge, it will be interesting to see where I am by then.  I would really like my 2 stone award, which is 9 lbs away.

I know it is possible as long as I stay motivated, I feel more passionate about sticking to the diet than I have in years, I actually want to stick to it, for me.  Maybe that is it, the missing link - all this time I have wanted to be thinner because of what other people might think, I have wanted to be someone else.  For the first time in ages, I just want to be me, I want to lose weight to make me happy not anyone else.

If you would like to see my food diaries I am writing them up on the Slimming World Lent Food Diary Challenge page.

Mug or Meanie - Getting it right in relationships

I have had another nice day with my other half, on days like today you wonder why you ever fall out, all those disagreements fall away and you start feeling like it is all worth it.  So I got thinking about relationships again - be aware more babble ahead...

I sometimes think that the secret to a good relationship is compromise.  But it is how much to give in, how much you let them take that seems to be the sticking point.

I have friends who are much further down the relationship journey than I am, they are married and have children, and they are unhappy.  They complain about their other halves constantly;  he never listens to me; he only wants to talk when he know's I am watching TV; we never have a conversation; he is so tight, he goes out with his friends all the time, he cares more about football than me ... the list is endless and all too familiar for most women.

The thing is  I only ever hear one side of these situations, I don't know what the husbands and partners have to say in their defence.  However, I am willing to break the laws of sisterhood (while covering my head with my arms and crouching behind the sofa for fear of being attacked by burning bras and the broken chains of female oppression) and will openly admit that sometimes, and I certainly don't mean all the time; when I gripe about my relationship, I can be petty, I do overreact and I am probably occasionally ever so slightly unfair. 

I can hear the voices of women in my head saying: Don't accept his behaviour, grow a backbone, fight back, don't be a mug.  But I am tuning them out as I consider whether we should pick our battles.  Afterall why do we let little things annoy us, causing us to constantly gripe and nag at him.  All it serves to do is make him think we are unreasonable, and when something more than a mere irritation comes along, something we need to discuss and resolve, the impact of our telling them is diluted.  I suppose it is like being the little girl that cried monster when she didn't want to go to bed; we complain when we don't get our own way over the small things, so when something really scary threatens our relationship, they no longer listen to us.

So where do you draw the line between Mug or Meanie? Can you find an acceptable level where you can let the little irritations go (not just stock them up for the next big argument)? Or are there times when you know he is more likely to wind you up, when it might be better to keep out of his way and avoid having conversations about trigger topics ? 

Every relationship is different as is each person in it, I suppose we all have to find our own way of staying 'in' love with the significant other in our lives, and I think sometimes we need to remember that it isn't all their fault, we can make compromises without being a doormat. 

Any men out there, I know you say you don't gossip, but maybe this might also be something you too could consider.  When she isn't always looking her best, if she snaps at you for no reason, when she uses your razer without asking, or she slags off your mum, or begs you to watch something girly on TV is it really necessary to complain about it or hold it against them in the future?  Could you let it go for the sake of continued happiness, could you accept that you don't always have to be right. It won't make you less of a man, I promise, and you might even find you enjoy life together just a bit more.

Shopping, shoes and a swollen foot

I have a new laptop, I am very excited.  It is a tomato red Acer Aspire 5742, I collected it from PC World this AM. 

Next stop on my trip was shoe shopping, the biggest problem I have had with recovering from a broken ankle is that my foot is so swollen none of my normal shoes fit,  I have been living in trainers for weeks. 

In order that I could dress in something other than jeans and tracky bottoms I decided to invest in some really comfortable shoes, unfortunatley this meant a trip to a 'granny' shoe shop; you know the ones I mean, you expect comfort over fashion, usually full of old ladies with bunions and replacement hips. 

The shop I visited was a small independant store in Wakefield called Earnshaws, yes there was limited choice of shoes that a self respecting 30 year old would wear, but the staff were young and friendly, they were really attentive and actually helped to properly fit the shoes on my feet.  There was a real difference in the customer service compared with some of the bigger more mainstream shops, it was a refreshing change.

In the end I bought a pair of  Hotter shoes in the sale and a pair of Rieker shoes at full price.  The Hotter shoes have removable insoles meaning that the swollen foot would fit in the same size as my other reguarly wide foot.  The Reiker ones are a wide fitting anyway and I managed to get both feet in quite comfortably, I may need to add an insole to the normal foot to make it a snugger fit but they generally looked pretty good.

I had my third physiotherapy session this week, I am now down to a stick. Can't say that carrying a stick does much for the street cred, I feel like an old lady, what with the comfy shoes and a stick I just need a blue rinse to complete the look.  The stick is a lot less supportive than a crutch, I can't imagine going up and down steps is going to be easy and I don't fancy long distance walks.  I know it is all about confidence - but the thought of falling again... it doesn't bear thinking about.

The physio manipulated my ankle today, no idea if it helped but it really, really hurt. She was pressing it, twisting it and moving it back and forth, at times it felt like it was going to break again which was really scary and wierd.  

Additional exercise this week were:

1.)Step up and down with the bad foot on the bottom step of the staircase. (repeat 10 times)

2.)Make a small squat movement (bend your knees so they extend over your toes hold and return to standing).You can use a worktop for support. (repeat 10 times)

3.)Balance on your bad leg holding the pose for as long as possible.  (repeat 10 times)

4.)Put you bad leg on the bottom step keep your good leg behind you and lunge forward, repeat on the other leg.  Intensify the movement by using the second step again.  (repeat 10 times)

Happy Day

I have had a lovely day!  I say that so rarely I felt it deserved a post all of it's own.  I spent the day with my other half, and it was really nice.  We didn't argue, we talked, we had coffee and browsed shops, it felt like the old days when we were younger and more in love.  Despite my happy mood, I do feel rather philosophical  so prepare for a babble.

Being 'in' love is an interesting concept, all too often it seems we confuse that early passion, the unfamiliarity of a new'ish' relationship with being 'in' love.  It is easy to feel all gooey eyed and in adoration of your other half when there annoying habits are just cute character traits, when you don't have a mortgage, when you still go out every time you see each other, assuming you don't spend  the entire day together in bed!

It is still pretty simple to be 'in' love when you make those first commitment steps; like moving in together with all the cute coupley shopping trips for furnishings and kitchen utensils. You are still sharing smug glances when you invite your equally coupled up friends around to your new pad.  And the proceed to test drive every room in the house once they have gone.

You still feel 'in' love when you get to the comfortable stage.  All those cosy nights in with a movie and a bottle of wine; summer days in the garden and package holidays to cheap and cheery sunny spots abroad.  You still smile and laugh when you share a private joke or remember something from your early days.

But 6/7 years on; the cute characteristic's become irritating habits, the cosy nights are boring, the holiday's stop happening as money gets tighter.  Houses need repairs, washing machines break down and bills have to be paid.  You start wanting different things, you miss the care free days of your youth  and you start wishing you had more time for yourself. 

Then the passion that had gradually ebbed over the years becomes but a mere flutter you feel after one too many drinks.  The bedroom activity is less Olympian and more sack race, once you have mastered the movement you just go until it's done, there is no room for manouevre in the sack. 

If I paint a picture of a bad relationship, I don't mean to.  It isn't that you no longer love each other but you wonder if you are actually 'in' love.

The worst time for this to happen is when you are considering a major change in your circumstances:  A wedding for example, or maybe having a child, it could even be moving house. Whatever it is,  anything that makes you question your future, only serves to heighten what is seemingly missing from your relationship.

I wonder if every couple reaches this stage, and if they do, is it possible to recover?
Are long term relationships, the until the day I die type, full of people who have given up on being 'in' love?  Or can you come out of the other end, find that spark that was ignited when you met, and with a shielding hand can you carry it with you, lighting fires as you go to keep the relationship hot, or at least pretty warm?

Physiotherapy for Ankle Rehabilitation Session 2

I apologise for my previous entry I realise I never finished adding the exercises  so I am attaching the full list at the bottom of the post.

I attended my second physiotherapy session today.  It was a learning curve and felt quite productive.  Firstly, I was advised that I could walk better if I took larger steps with my good foot; as I was taking little ones so I spent less time on the bad leg.  Then I was also told to stop looking at my feet and look forward when I walked, as looking down makes you stick your bum out.   See this proves that confident people look thinner because they draw less attention to their bottom.

I had a go at  using steps with alternate feet.  By far the hardest thing so far, don't think I will be doing this much for a while, I was definitely swinging down the steps as opposed to walking, my shoulder is really hurting now (not sure if that is related or not but thought I would throw it in for sympathy).

Other than feeling quite stupid that I don't know how to walk correctly I am pleased with the help I am receiving, I can't urge anyone in the same position enough, get yourself some physiotherapy - I feel so much more capable now than I did a week ago, I have more confidence because I know I am doing the right things.

Disclaimer

I am happy to share the exercises I have been given, but I won't take any responsibility for what happens or doesn't happen if you try them. I am not a trained physio and what is prescribed for me, may not be right for you.  There is no substitute for a professional watching you and advising where you are going wrong so get in touch with one if at all possible!!!

Physio Session One

1.

• Lying on your back or sitting.
• Bend and straighten your ankles briskly.  If you can keep your knees straight during the exercise you will stretch your calf muscles.
• Repeat 10 times

2.

• Sitting with your feet on the floor
• Alternatively raise the inner boarder of your foot (big toe) and then the outer border (little toe). 
• Repeat 10 times 

NB I find doing the exercise with both feet at the same time helps you to compare what normal range of movement should be so you know how far you can push yourself.

3.

• Lying on you back with a cushion under your back (or sitting on a stable chair). 
• Put a towel under the ball of your foot and hold an end with each hand. 
• Bend and straighten your leg slowly.
• Repeat 10 times

4.

• Standing with the bad leg behind the other leg, in front of a table or wall.  
• Bend the front leg, and press the heel of the bad foot down to stretch the achilles tendon.
• Hold for 5 second
• Repeat 10 times

Physiotherapy Session Two

1.

• Sit so you can have your legs up (on a bed or sofa). 
• Place a towel around the bad foot.  Take the one end of the towel in each hand.  Keep this start position for the next 3 exercises. 

a) Push your toes up as far as you can towards your body.  With the towel pull your foot a little further until you feel a stretch.  Hold for 2 and release.

b) Raise the inner boarder of your foot (big toe) as far as you can then with the alternate hand to the foot (my left foot was injured so I use the right hand) pull the towel against the foot to stretch it further in the same motion. Hold for 2 and release.

c) Raise the outer border (little toe) as far as you can then with the corresponding hand to the foot (my left foot was injured so I use the left hand) pull the towel against the foot to stretch it further in the same motion. Hold for 2 and release.

2. 

• Sit so you can have your legs up (on a bed or sofa). 
• Place a theraband or exercise band around the bad foot.  Take the one end of the band in each hand
• Pull the band with both hands up towards your body against the foot. Push against the band with your foot pointing you toes away from the body as far as you can.  If it is too easy, next time pull the band closer to your body before you start the stretch. 

Standing exercises

1. 

• Stand against the kitchen worktop or other table (use the table or worktop for support throughout).  
• Find your centre of gravity.
• Lift up onto your toes with both feet, go only as far as you can on the bad leg.
• Repeat 10 times

2. 

• Stand against the kitchen worktop or other table (use the table or worktop for support throughout).
• Roll back onto your heels lifting the balls of your feet off the floor, go only as far as you can on the bad leg. 
• Repeat 10 times

3. 

• Stand against the kitchen worktop or other table (use the table or worktop for support throughout).  
• Walk on the spot, lifting each leg as high as you can before lowering and repeating with the other leg. 
• Repeat 10 times

Slimming World Food Diary

I am still reeling from shock, I have gained 7lb, in just two weeks! Half a stone - I feel so annoyed, I won't make excuses, but I will say I didn't expect that size of gain.

The shock has made me determined to stick 100% to the diet this week. I really hope that the result will be a large loss, I am so disappointed I really wanted my two stone award by now, but I am back up at a total loss of less than a stone after this recent disaster.

I feel that there are some clear reasons for losing weight and I want to write them here for the world to see, that way I can't hide from them.

Reason 1: I want a sex life! How is that for brutally honest I think I may be finding my virginity again it really has been that long. I know I am unattractive and I have lost confidence in that department, but I miss feeling sexy and desirable; I don't expect to look like a page three model; just vaguely attractive.

Reason 2: I am reliably informed the PCOS symptoms will reduce if I lose weight down to a healthy level.

Reason 3: I hope losing weight will increase my fertility and my chances of conceiving (see reason 1)

Reason 4; I have little control or clue how to deal with anything else in my life, I think concentrating on weight loss as my primary goal for a while might lead me to resolving some of the other issues I am avoiding dealing with.

I promise to be good from now on, in fact for lent I am giving up cheating on slimming world! I am starting early so here is my food intake for the last 3 days.

Thursday Eve

Spaghetti with Quark, tinned tomatoes, 1 tbsp pesto (4 syns) and Quorn fillets.

1 Banana muller light and 1 plum.

Daily total 4 syns

Friday

Scrambled egg, fatless bacon, and tinned tomatoes.

Butternut squash and red pepper soup.

Pork loin and bovril on 4 ryvitas (HE).

Rhubarb muller light

Fresh Fig

Steak, SW chips, salad and 1 tspHelmans XL mayo (1/2 syn).

1 Hi Fi delux bar (6 syns).

Daily total 6.5 syns

Saturday

Bacon, dry fried egg, wholemeal bread (HE and 2.5 syns)

Butternut squash soup

SW lamb rogan josh, sw chicken balti, rice

4 x SW vegetable samosas (4 syns)

1 x Weight Watchers naan bread (5.5 syns)

2 x Coors Light beers (9 syns)

1 tsp lime pickle (0.5 syns)

1 x galaxy ripple (9 syns)

Daily Total 30.5 syns

Sunday

Bacon, scrambled egg, baked beans, 2 x weight watchers sausages (1 syn).

Plum

Roast chicken, dry roast potatoes, mashed potato, spring cabbage, carrots, leeks, yorkshire pudding (7 syns) and Gravy (4.5 syns)

2 x Alpen light (HE)

Daily Total 12.5 syns

Total so far this week 53.5 syns

The weekend is always the hardest part so I am pleased with how I have done so far, just got to keep it up.

Update will be posted tomorrow.

For the full food diary for this week and the whole of lent please see the Slimming World Food Diary Lent Challenge.

Nelly Furtado - Maneater (US Version)

Here ends today's journey of melancholy -

From now on I will embody the man eater, sexy, strong, and full of feminine wiles.

Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]

Bitter and twisted ? Moi, never!

blink-182 - I Miss You

Probably my favourite song of all time, reminds me of the best year of my life!

Arctic Monkeys - 'Fluorescent Adolescent' (2007)

A little bit of local class. This song is a little depressing, if you see yourself in it you are probably old and boring (boo hoo!)

The Raconteurs "Steady, As She Goes"

Fantastic Song! just in case you think I am getting too soppy!

Train - Drops of Jupiter (ACOUSTIC LIVE!)

This song always makes me want to pack up and find myself...

Paramore: The Only Exception [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

I love this song, no excuses and only 'one exception'.

grow old with you

My other half introduced me to this one; how's that for irony!

Train - Marry Me

This was a new discovery, but I think you may see a theme

developing in the songs I have chosen!

Dixie Chicks - Landslide (live)

I couldn't have put it better myself, so I haven't - today I am exploring my mood in music

Holy Smoke - the story of the cigarette break that never was

2.45pm Tuesday 1 March 2011

Though process of a desperate woman

'God I am bored!'...

'What am I supposed to be doing?'...

'I need inspiration'...

fingers tap on keyboard.. eyes roll around the vicinity....mouth twitches from side to side("must stop doing that I am going to get wrinkles!")

I want a cigarette...

hmm...

'I really want a cigarette...'

'For God's sake, I haven't wanted one in weeks, why the f*ck do I want one now?'

I haven't smoked since the fateful fall, initially because I was stuck in a hospital bed, then because it was too hard to get to the door; and finally because I read smoking slows down the healing process (by that point I figured might as well carry on).

I haven't had that many cravings. I think I was substituting cigarettes with chocolate bars until this week - hmm that might explain the 3lb weight gain - oops. I did go through a period of being really irritable towards the end of the cast wearing period (at about 5 to 8 weeks post injury), but I didn't even think to reach for a cigarette, well there were a few fleeting thoughts that drifted like smoke clouds through my head - but I resisted.

But now I am in my second week of working from home, and the novelty of being back at the keyboard has abated, that desire to pick up the little white stick (Menthol) is so much stronger.

So I wonder will I ever be a none smoker, is it like being an alcoholic; you never recover, you just don't smoke?

I have quit before; once for a year and the second time for nine months. On both occasions I started slipping back into old habits starting with the odd social drag of a friends, then I'd cadge a couple on a night out. Then before I knew it I would be having a really bad day and I would find myself in a shop buying a pack. Within a week I would be back on to 10 a day.

They say it takes 8 weeks to break a habit, I wonder how long it takes to forget one. I can still remember what it feels like to light up, the shape of the cigarette between my fingers, the smell of the smoke, the feeling as the smoke drifts into my mouth ....

I fear it is only a matter of time before I light up again. Could really do with some tips!